All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
