Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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