i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
