I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
