She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
