there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
