Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Come on in and take your pants off
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