Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
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I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
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Our lives are a motherfucking joke
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I have post one night stand depression
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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