HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may now shotgun with the bride
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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