Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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