i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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