Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize