puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
