Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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