Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
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how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
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What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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