You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
