i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize