Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
