I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
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