There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
