So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize