my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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