The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Houston, we have a squirter
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
