If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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