The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
