Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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