Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Terrible idea I love it
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
