I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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