No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Jerry, you need to find god
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
