Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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