Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize