Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize