We're facebook friends in real life
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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