what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
