Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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