dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Banned from zoo.
Again?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
