Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
