just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just blew my weed a kiss
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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