Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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