problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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