Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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