i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
