Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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