what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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