Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
