I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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