I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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