ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
ttyl tear gas
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
