Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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