i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
