I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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