Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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