Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The uberlube is also flammable
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
