She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
