Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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